cheeken hunt.

Apparently, valerie thinks i've this thing for nicholas.

I dont know whether to die laughing due to the atrocity of the statement or to start fuming due to the asinine suggestion that i still like him.

Like wth.





Someone's so gonna get it from me.









CheeKian, thanks ar.

past. i'm moving on. =)

First things first, I got back my diary from kangli yesterday. =)

I realise how angst ladden the latter entries were. All due to issues unsettled and regrets. Wallowing in that pool of self-pity. Oooooh well. Thank goodness for kangli. Thank goodness i entrusted her with it. My source of addiction.

Oh and i ran into Nicholas today as i was on my way home. He was waiting for Valerie by the sidegate. Being the nice person i am, i went up to him and spoke to him. Nothing much actually. Oh and he seemed to have slimmed down a lil'.

Messaged Andrew to get CheeKian number (i forgot to save it that time la.) so told him about it. After a few more exchanges, 'drew asked, "do you still have any more feelings for him?"

Really bemusing that he brought this up. I wonder if it's a vs4H`04 thing. CheeKian, for one, tried to provoke some sort of reaction in me when he first told me about val, dropping funny suggestions and clues here and there. It was seriously amusing. Really.

Last note of the day: I took the first step. Someday i'll find the courage to take the second, and the third and one day, i'll finish the trip. Someday i'll get the guts to go up to him and express all my thoughts and apologies. Someday.

Ps. Fyi, i do not like Nicholas. As in, i dont feel for him that way anymore. So yea. Dont try to be a wisecrack about it cause it's seriously annoying when someone tries to jokes with you about something that you honestly dont give a damn about anymore.

I've no idea why but everytime i wish too run into him in the morning i wont and when i feel like avoiding him, i'll end up seeing him and all.

Oh well.

Saw J. on way out. No idea why he leaves so early(as in, early for him, late for me), especially since his school is only a 5 to 10 minutes walk away. Stupid tjcian. Bite you la.

Anyway, my 800m timing was worst than usual. Screw it. I still cant explain what's happening between me and running lately.


I think i need the rain.

uhuh

Okay. Just wanna say hi to the 10+ people who've been checking my blog faithfully all these time. Sorry i have not been updating. It's not that life is boring. Just dont feel like it that's all. Oh and i'm bring The Blue Book to school daily now. Just like how i always bring my IXUS 55 to school.

Anyway, in short, yesterday was a milestone for me.

1. S08 had a 'thrash out' session.
2. God reminded and reassured.
3. I talked nonsense with pn on the phone for about 2 hours. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Okay. Maybe the last one isnt too milestone worthy. But still. Yea. It's damn funny listening to your cousin whine about some random stuff. We're such random people. Must be in the genes.

~*~

I've failed practically EVERY test since school started. Wow. Shuyun rocks la.

Oh and 800m postponed to tomorrow. Zzz. Running against the long d girls. Been ages since i ran. Think i'm gonna get thrashed la. Bwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwah.

today.

To my dear Amy:
Girl, guys're never worth it la. Honestly now, nothing lasts. Especially not guys. Just learn to take care of yourself. I mean, so what if one guy ignores you, there's a whole lot more that care for you. He's so not worth it. Really.


Okay. So anyway, VJC dance concert. Oookay la. Well, money well spent. Not that i forked out a single cent but you get the point.

Hmm.. Being in the TPJC uniform, i think i stood out like a sore thumb la. Like I'm GREEN for goodness sake. Sheesh. Oh and i saw Meow there too. Must be some girl la. Hahahah.

Oh and Gerald being the kaypo/excessive cousin he is, for some reason informed andrew that i'm going down. Extra la bro. Nevertheless, i owe you the flowers la. Next time la. Next time. Hahahahaha.

Opps. First day i spoke more than 10 lines to Hendro and there i go, insulting his idol.

Ah. Well.

TPJC 20th Anniversary

As much as i dislike the anniversary shirt, i'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Okay okay. Because Jo and Ki decided to give me trouble, coming at the ungodly time of 10am and earlier, i've carefully devised a plan for tomorrow to ensure maximum running-about-seeing-and-bitching-with-old-friends-bility. Promised to tell Jo more about life. Ho hum.



Note: Major flame war going on in the TPJC Forums - PW thread. David and HuiJie vs Choir President Christoper. A lil' brainless though. Would prefer something with more intellectual worth. Nevertheless, good entertainment !

there is no excuse.

Really now.

I've no idea how people know of what had happened.

How people i dont even talk to knew and decided to care a lil'.

Thank you all for bothering to spend 30 seconds of your precious life and wasting 5 cents to sms me. (More if your message was like evan's. Really long.)

So yea.

Thank you all so so much.



Ps. I think my phone's a lil' nutty at the moment, taking ages to receive messages and for calls to connect. Maybe i tossed it a tad too violently yesterday. Hmm..


Snap out of that state of self-pity. There's no one to blame but yourself.
Dont you remember ? For no one but yourself.
Grit your teeth and finish it off how you had initially wanted to.

change

Somehow, when you're busy crying your eyeballs out one day, people you have not heard from for ages just keep messaging in. Maybe it's just God's way of reminding you of the bigger things in life.

I texted Benji while on my bus ride home, something i did with much apprehension - after all, we have not had a decent conversation since last November. Nevertheless, his reply while surprised me, made me even more upset.

"I think life's screwed. Everything's screwed."
"What's wrong?"
"Cca. Track. School. Studies. And him."
"You need a break. Really."

His reply reminded me of how last year my defenses kept all my detractors so angry at me. So so annoyed at me yet still helpless to do anything able to make life too hard for me to take.

I wonder where that shuyun went.

The one with the I Dont Give You A Damn attitude. The one who took all knocks thrown her way with a grin and delivered it back thrice as hard. The one who didnt really care how others think or what they did. The one who refuses to back down. The one benji called tough.

I wonder if what they say being true and that jc life changes people.


Or maybe what jy said is the truth instead;
that you're the one who chooses to change.

20 people.

Get 20 names without looking at questions.

1. Kenneth
2. Daniel
3. Evan
4. Joseph
5. Hanisah
6. Gideon
7. Kai Lin
8. Esther
9. Karen
10. John
11. Leah
12. Lyon
13. WangKi
14. Gerald
15. Andrew
16. Wilfred
17. Warren
18. Joshua
19. Mason
20. Nicholas

So these are the questions.

1. How did you meet 6?
I think it was track during PAE. I think.

2. What would you do if you've never met 10?
I dont know if i'll be able to survive my sec 3 peer support camp(RAWR ! AARON TEO), wouldnt know about the joshua (lee) incident, wouldnt be humilated in front of andrew due to the joshua (lee) incident, wouldnt have someone to bitch whine to when i'm feeling low. Lol. Thanks bro

3. What would you do if 17 and 10 dated?
Hmm.. The cultural contrast might do them some good.

4. Did you ever like 9?
Yes. I like/love/adore karen to bits and pieces.

5. Would 7 and 15 make a good couple?
Well. As much as i love both of them, not really.

6. Describe 11.
Patient. Forgiving. Self-accepting. A very very good listener.

7. Do you think 14 is attractive?
As i've once said, "if you'll ignore the height, he's rather dark and handsome"

8. Tell me something about 20.
Hmm.. His current gf's in my school, my year and seems like a nice person.

9. Do you know any of 2's family?
He has a dad and a mum. Mum's a housewife.

10. What's 18's favourite?
God. His guitar. Naruto. =)

11. What would you do if 5 just confessed he/she likes you?
Awwww. I like you tons too babe !

12. What language does 13 speak?
English, chinese, shanghainese, cantonese and a tinge of Japanese. That's all i think.

13. Who is 7 going out with?
No one that she told me of. Hmm.. Speaking of which, i had better drop her a line.

14. How old is 16 now?
17 going 18. Birthday's on 30th November.
Andrew: Oh oh. Buy wilfred those contact lenses ! Those that'll make his eyes seem bigger !
Me: Nah. He cant put the lenses in. Eyes're too small too.

15. When's the last time you talked to 9?
Early this year when i ran into her at the bus stop while waiting for Nigel Tan.

16. What is 8's favourite band/singer?
Westlife. Duh.

17. Would you ever date 1?
Not likely. Haha.

18. Would you ever date 19?
Not likely too. After all, mason dear has his eyes somewhere else. =P

19. Is 1 single?
Haha. Yea. Girls ! Kenneth is a good deal ! Go after him !

20. What is 6's last name?
Sim.

21. Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 2?
Haha. Been there, done that.

22. What school does 4 go to?
Crap. I forgot. Lol. Nvm. Jo'll still say that i'm nice. Yes yes.

23. Where does 17 live?
Bedok. Somewhere somewhere.

24. What's your fav thing about 13?
How he'll sit through you crying for like 3 hours, trying hard to make you laugh even though he's bloody tired. Thanks Ki. =)

25. Have you seen number 12 naked?
Lol. No.

tpjc carnival

people who owe me a lunch/dinner appointment: benji, jy, jo, esther, kailin, lionel, delyn, andrew, john

I sprained my toe.

This is so lame la.

Oh and tpjc's having a open house/carnival thing this coming saturday. I've asked Jo and Ki to come down ! Ki's asking Khairi. Yayness ! Opps. Forgot to ask Kenneth just now. Eh. Kenneth !! If you're reading this, COME DOWN ! Or as Ki would say, "MUST COME AR !"

Hahahaha. I miss you guys tons !!

Think i'll msg alexi and cheryl tomorrow or something. Hmm..

To: Leah Lee

A tad late, but nevertheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEAH !!

It's been a joy knowing you. Having you around at work. Really. You've been an amazing person, full of patience, full of joy. Be a bit more confident about yourself though. Kkkz. Better not say too much, later my letter like no difference like that. Zzz. Was so tough writing for you can ? Opps. There i go again, revealing more content. Hahahahahaah. =P

Mmm.. I'll call you down when i get another clubbing invite from my nonsensical pals ya. Then you can get your friends to tag ya. Clubbing is so not my business la. Zzzz.

Oh yea. Remember you still owe me a trip to that Irish Pub ya. Hahahahaha.

kick up the leaves

Okay. I found out who she is already.

She's uber sweet and nice.

I feel so damn crappy now.

Oh well.

Best wishes to them.

Yeo Zhixian Andrew 05S29
shit my penis will erect when i see track suits! i want!

And MrYazid hopes that the track and field forum can help promote track. Zzzzz.

Honestly, if i didnt know them, i'll be freaked out by the behaviour of the trackers la. Mass spamming, the word penis EVERYWHERE, insults thrown all around, random crazy stuff by andrew. Even Fab is turning weird, posting that retarded photo as MrYazid. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OUR POOR POOR FABBY !!)

Btw, thinking of what Jehanne said, yea, Fabian does have a really hot bod. Lol. Now whenever i think of Fabian, i just keep remembering how he ALWAYS STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE WHEN JUMPING ! And that hand gesture. Hahahahaha.

Crap. I'm being really random tonight. Oh well. Time to write my letter and card for Leah.




Oh and before i forget, it's good friday today. The anniversary of Christ's death. This is one day that i think is greatly undermined by the Easter Bunny bit. I remember reading somewhere of how Christmas and Easter should go hand-in-hand. This is totally agree with. His birth, his death and his resurrection. Because of today 2006 years back, we are saved. His triumph over death that gave hope of salvation. For His blood washes me clean.

Give praise and glory to the Most High.

Campfire

Johnny boy just informed me.

Scouts Campfire's on 20th May. =)

Saturday. As usual.

7.30 to 9.30

Think i'll be popping by earlier.

Hope to drag some people down with me.

I'm so pscyhed. =)


Okay, now to digress a lil', i realised that many people around me are either:

a) getting crushes.
b) getting hitched.
c) playing the game very often.

This sucks. I find it annoying when the guys start getting hitched and the girls start getting crushes.

Event 206 Long Jump (Girls)

5 Goh Shu Yun 06S08 3.69m


I'm damn pissed la. I didnt even manage to hit 4m.

Argh. Anyway, didnt manage to get the funky gel thing leroy told me about. Oh well. Later then. Must remember to get an mc while doing so since i skipped GP and PE. Oh and i skipped my chem tutorial and bio lecture by accident. The reason why that happened was so bloody dumb.

I was studying for my bio quiz in the library.

I think Ms Goh (the rock climbing teacher-in-charge) is gonna be like so frustrated over my case by now. I have not participated in ANY of her PE lessons yet, the first being sick while the other due to my hamstring.

Saw J this morning while leaving for school. Left a bit, really just a bit later than usual. Didnt say anyway, didnt even look him in the eye. Heh.



To the X-Country people who ran yesterday:
At least you guys held on. I saw so many of them giving up when they were so close. Last 400m and they stopped. At least you guys had the will and drive to push yourself.

To the J1s:
Dont give up, next year, there's still next year. With Pak having more formal training, with Nigel back in the team, with Zeng Hui's hip injury healed. I'm sure we'll be better.

To the J2s:
Like what Fabian said, it's time to channel that anger, that drive to somewhere else; be it to the track and field meets, to your studies or to your other commitments. There's no use crying over what is done, instead, go on to score your own individual victories in whatever you wish to pursue.

To Harianto:
As i've said to you already; Ask not whether it'll be good enough, but whether you've done enough.

To Crystal:
You tried, we all know how much you valued this race. We all know how much you gave for it. How you held on despite your ankle, despite that nasty flu, despite the high fever just the night before. But i guess, things just werent meant to be.

From the track forums by Fabian,
anw...the X-ctry ppl...im very proud of u guys...u fought on altho each 1 of u had ur own difficulties...maybe its juz an unlucky year for our school...we hav the talent...its juz tt injuries hav constantly inhibited ur performance

most imptly...i wan u all nt to regret all tt has happened today...u all worked for wat u got today...wat has happened thus far has happened...if any of u are unhappy abt anythg...take it as a drive to train harder...it may become a wake up call for u guys...haha if it was me...failure wld only urge me to take revenge...n tt means becoming even stronger...

I hope u guys are in the mood for some thrashing in the sport heats...run wid all ur heart...100% is nt enuf...add in 10% more each trng n ull realise tt wid each trng u get stronger n stronger...raising ur limits to new heights...

crystal...dun be sad yea...the fact tt u completed the race has gav me an impression of a warrior...fighting on despite ankle injuries n sickness...bravo


You know, yesterday, i realised how fascinating Fabian is. Really. I just cant seem to place that feeling i got. Hmm.

Edit: Yes, we saw MingYi (JOSEPH !! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, I'M A 'CHOSEN ONE' LA !! )at at turf city too. Well, i guess the next time i'll see him would be at national track and field meets. High jump. Heh.

I admit, i was hoping i'll see alexi. I miss him. Things i want to say that i never did. Oh well.

Today's long jump was the pits.

My shin hurts.

Leroy !!! why didnt you lend me that gel BEFORE my jump !!!

Argh.

Shall go to the polyclinic on thursday, skipping GP and so to get it too. Temporary relief is good. Especially since i never took 400 timing before. Wont wanna get thrashed too badly on wednesday. >.<


Oh and i managed to convince giddy to go with me for tomorrow's X-Country ! Yayness ! Love you two tons giddy !


chase 400. run. 175. sprint 75. under 70.
chase. 800. run. 215. sprint. 75. under 180.

tennis bahs.

Tennis during SPE was well, interesting. Yes, shuyun the ball magnet(dont tell me how wrong this sounds, coz i dont care. I really attract those stupid flying objects. Especially my head !!) did not get hit. Yayness. =)

Provided that i ducked 2 balls, had 3 close shaves, but still, I DID NOT GET WHACKED ON MY FACE BY A STUPID TENNIS BALL !! I'm so happy.

Well, till after the heats that is.

I asked Bryan to accompany me to the long jump pit for a jump or two to prepare for tomorrow's event. Yet our dear Bryan, abandoned me for the tennis courts. Oh well.

Never mind that actually, coz i went in and joined pak and chunhoe to try to hit the tennis ball with a softball bat. Was fun. Until bryan's ball from the other end of the court flew pass my face and smacked me right in the nose.

I love you like nuts bryan.

On a side note, mum's making me drink this vile concoction that's apparently good for my back and shoulder. Yucks.


Note to self: Get referral form from general office for physio.

wonderwall.

Evan msg`ed ! =)

We shall go lunching soon !

At times i really think that cas doesnt deserve him.

Oh well. I dont either.

But that's another story for another day.

And i'm gonna need to cut down on my pills.

Mmhmm.

Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

32nd Singapore Junior Athletic C'ships 2006

Event 215 Girls 800 Meter Run (U20)
Top 12 Advance by Time
Sunday 4/9/2006 - 17:45
NR: 2:07.4 5/31/1976 Chee Swee Lee
JR: 2:08.1 1973 Chee Swee Lee
CR: 2:21.3 1979 Sandra Deans
Lane Name Team

Heat 1 of 2 Prelims
1 3674 Nora, Hannagan Sas
2 3622 Divya, Moorthy Rjc
3 3410 Siti Nurhuda, Zamro Ite
4 3625 Kathleen, Khoo Rjc
5 3031 Jia Han, , Ajc
6 3623 Gail, Chua Rjc
7 3624 Kai Xuan, Pan Rjc
8 3030 Hui Na, Sheila Jang Ajc
9 3699 Nicole Seah, , Ssp
10 3400 Denise, Lum Hcic
11 3068 Cassondra, Tioh Acjc
12 3730 Ma Cho, YeeThu Tpjc
13 3669 Karen, Lin Sas
14 3630 Wing Yee, Tong Rjc
15 3077 Laura, Lim Acjc


Firstly, i hope Cho Yee doesnt do too badly today. Hope she can keep pace with the pack and NOT try chasing cassondra. She's like 2nd nationals last year la.

Secondly, David did really badly. I'm worried. He seemed really really upset last night.

Thirdly, Cherie got thrashed in her heat, clocking 76.16s. She was 10 whole seconds slower than the 2nd last. Oh well. I need to get my timing soon too.

Lastly, i need to do something for my ankle. It hurts just by walking already.

On a side note, canoeing orientation was okay la.

I realised that daniel (06s27) and weijie (06s28) remember me. =)

Weijie can even pronounce my name ! (Note i wrote 'pronounce' and not 'remember'. I figured that majority of those in school who knows me remembers my name but just cant seem to pronounce it. Eg. Jean from 06a03 )

Weijie has also just secured a place as my daily sweet supplier !

~*~

Stayed back yesterday to watch tpjc vs tjc for 'A' division soccer.

Most of you should know that i usually have no interest in these 'ball games' due to the aggressive nature of which. In other words, the ball always seems to hit me.

Only reason i stayed was actually coz earlier on while in the library, pak and andrew were watching the rjc vs nyjc match via the library's window and well.. The entertainment they provided gave me sufficient reason to agree to stay with the cg's girls for the match.


Soccer is a good way to do cg-bonding.

Screamed a lot. Bitched a lot. Laughed a lot. Has barrels of fun.

Note to self: Find out the name of jin's friend. Reminding me of alexi. Recognizing him only by face. Would be funny if it ends up like alexi's case. Him knowing my name but me not knowing his.

Oh well. I miss alexi.

~*~

I still cant understand chem.

Meeting gerald later at tampines. Bio with him and eriko. Hahahahahaha.

Hope i dont run into the canoeists later.

Heats

The heats for sports meet. Wheeee.

Didnt know it was up already until David msg`ed me last night as i was on my way home from canoeing, telling me to "get serious unless you want to get beaten by cherie".

Btw. I capsized and two nice lil' victorians seeing me floating like some idiot in the middle of the race course decided to save me. Nice chaps. Was shrieking in their ears all the time but they didnt even complain. (I cant swim for nuts la. And i was drifting further and further away from them as they tried to empty my boat so what were you expecting ? I remembered the stupid suction area of the reservoir as i was drifting too. Was so freaked out. Brr. )


Anyway, i think i sense a major hamstring cramp next week. I might be running for 400m, 800m as well as doing long jump. Oh oh. And i'm in the cg 12x100m, 4x100m and 4x400m team. Whoopee.


On a sidenote, i'm gonna skip track AND canoeing tomorrow. Shall ask for extra chem class.

Shall sleep early tonight so that i can concentrate during chem tomorrow.

I look/feel/am so sickly lately. Rawr.

oxytocin

Benji being the nice guy that he is offered (yes. as in seriously, he offered, i didnt even ask la.) to teach me to swim.

Hail Benjamin !

Anyway, main topic today is Oxytocin.

For those who dont know, oxytocin is said to be the hormone of love and bonding. It's secreted due to touch.

I think i lack oxytocin. =(

No wonder i'm such a sad girl lately.

I shall go whine to leah this saturday on her birthday and sneak a hug. Yayness.

chase me.

i love saba's blog layout la. so kewl can ?



time trials tomorrow for 400m during track. dont feel good. got my chain back.

of love. of my beliefs. of my commitments.



life's messed up. wheeee.

hur hur

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

moving on.

Thank you for leaving that footprint in my life.

But then, the tide will come in and wash it clean wont it ?

You've left an impression, not an impact.

Someday perhaps.

Our lives shall coincide once more.

Goodbye.

trust. me.

This line's been spinning in my head all day: I want to fall in love with You.

Yup. Love Song For A Savior by Jars of Clay.

Been listening to it the entire day since i dont have Testify to Love on this pc - and i'm too lazy to go dig out the cd from some my room. Zzz.

Issues bugging me. Unable to pinpoint. Think i'm gonna have a sleepless night again. Haha..


Shoulder's still hurting. Think i'm gonna need an extra dosage tonight. Hahaha.





i want to. but i cant. you dont give me a reason to.